Cary Grant’s Hidden Childhood Pain and Its Long-lasting Impact

Cary Grant’s Family Secrets Uncovered: A Glimpse into His Childhood Struggles

By LOUISE A. BARILE

October 9, 2024

 

Cary Grant, the iconic Hollywood star, often reminisced about the vibrant garden of his childhood home in Bristol, England, where he enjoyed moments of joy with his parents. “In our garden there were fuchsias, hollyhocks, geraniums and primroses,” he fondly recalled. “We often ate under the shade of our apple tree, particularly on summer Sundays. Those were the happiest days for the three of us.” Yet, behind this nostalgic memory lay a turbulent childhood marred by poverty, loss, and emotional turmoil.

 

Grant, born Archie Leach, was the only son of Elias and Elsie Leach. As a young boy, he faced the heartbreaking trauma of his mother’s sudden disappearance when he was just 9 years old. This event instilled in him a profound fear of abandonment, compounded by his father’s struggles with alcoholism. Grant attributed his father’s behavior to a “slow-breaking heart,” a reflection of their family’s fraught circumstances. The true extent of his family’s hidden struggles only came to light during his rise to stardom in Hollywood.

 

In 1933, Cary received a shocking revelation from his father on his deathbed. Until that moment, he had believed that his mother had merely gone to the seaside. It was then he learned that she had been confined to an institution, a secret that his father kept from him for years. The reasons behind Elsie’s confinement remain unclear, with various accounts citing her severe depression over the death of a toddler brother Cary never knew, while others suggest marital strife or an affair as possible motivators for her institutionalization. According to Mark Glancy, author of Cary Grant: The Making of a Hollywood Legend, Elsie’s psychiatric evaluation indicated she was “excitable and upset,” leading to questions about the true nature of her mental health at the time.

 

After nearly two decades, Cary managed to secure his mother’s release and even provided her with a home in England. Unfortunately, their relationship remained distant, and Cary described her as aloof and withdrawn. While he felt a deeper connection with his father, who had been a significant part of his early life, the aftermath of these family secrets would haunt him for years.

 

Throughout his four-decade career, Cary Grant portrayed suave and charming characters, yet he often struggled with feelings of inadequacy, perceiving himself as an impostor. Despite his polished exterior, he battled anxiety, particularly before camera rolls, as recalled by his co-star Jimmy Stewart.

 

Cary’s tumultuous past also affected his romantic relationships. He was initially attentive and charming during courtship, but as his partnerships evolved, he became possessive and anxious, unable to commit fully. This emotional baggage stemmed from unresolved issues with his mother. “I was punishing my wives for what my mother had done to me,” Cary reflected, recognizing the unhealthy cycle he had fallen into.

 

In the 1950s, he sought therapy, including drug treatments with LSD. While he acknowledged some progress, he understood the journey to healing was ongoing, saying, “You cut back the barnacles and find more barnacles.”

 

Cary’s fourth marriage to actress Dyan Cannon also faced challenges similar to his earlier unions. However, becoming a father to their daughter, Jennifer, marked a turning point in his life. He found solace in fatherhood, and Jennifer described her father affectionately in her memoir, praising his unwavering support.

 

Cary married for a fifth time to Barbara in 1981, and she observed how the love for his daughter nurtured his emotional growth. By this time, Cary had cultivated a sense of peace within himself after years of grappling with his past. He passed away in 1986, having found more happiness in the latter part of his life, a sentiment shared by those close to him.

 

Cary Grant’s story is a testament to the complexities of identity, the impact of childhood experiences, and the relentless pursuit of personal peace.